Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sounding Good

This past spring I took an amazing course called Dynamics of Biblical Change.  Through taking this course, God brought some fear-of-man issues to the surface, which I was and am so thankful to get out on the table.  Through taking that course, a small part of me believed that once I finished the class, my fear-of-man issues would be no more.  Kapoof!  What a joke!  I am reminded of David Powlison's words saying that life is a battle.  I may be struggling with this fear-of-man issue for year and years!  And I was reminded of that today, when I had to talk about myself to a small group of people.  I wanted to sound good.  I felt my face get red.  I also said "sooooooooo" an "ummmmmm" a lot.  I'm not sure if anyone noticed my insecure mannerisms (I hope not for my own selfish sake!), but I certainly did.  And I didn't like it.   

Caring about man's opinion over God's opinion of me is such a thing for me.  When will God's perfectly accepting love for me be enough?!  Why must my image be my own idol!  It makes me mad. 

Luckily, I am ok, even while my face is turning red and I overly think my responses and reactions.  God loves me through it all!  God gave me grace!  God forgives me!    

1 comment:

  1. If only I could convince you how wonderfully wonderful you are without even having to try... You are, you know.